I Am Pro-Choice

I Am Pro-Choice Can you feel your blood boiling? Mon, 29 Jul 2024 23:32:01 GMT https://healthandfreedom.substack.com/p/i-am-pro-choice Can you feel your blood boiling? The stress cortisol kicking in.

This is the feeling I felt this morning when someone walked in with a shirt that said in big bold red letters “Vote For Abortion!”

I paused.

I breathed.

And I politely asked him.

“Vote for abortion. Can you tell me more about this?”

He shared his perspective and I continued asking questions out of curiosity to better understand his perspective.

He believes in choice.

He believes in children having a good life so not rushing mothers into motherhood.

Choice and good life for children. These are two things I agree with.

I continued asking questions rather than interjecting my own opinion.

And I learned that his viewpoint was one out of love not hate, destruction, and darkness as my fight or flight increase in cortisol reaction would have told me otherwise.

I continued to reflect for myself.

I realized something…

I am pro-choice too.

I believe in freedom. I don’t want people to tell me what to do.

I just believe that choice extends to everyone. So I asked the question.

Choice is great. But what about the baby in womb? Do they get a choice?

I asked this out of curiosity rather than anger. And I could tell he received it in the same way, with curiosity.

It was a very fruitful conversation. We left it peacefully asking for each others names giving each other fist bump, a rare outcome of one of the most polarizing subjects.

Three Lessons There were a few lessons I learned from this conversation:

Just because someone is Pro-Choice does not mean they are evil. In fact, the reason they are pro-choice is usually routed in love. How can we unite on that common perspective of love to come up with real solutions rather than divide on the political topic creating more anger and frustration?

Questions driven by genuine curiosity is a much more effective way to communicate. First seek to understand than to be understood. When you do this, you can find a commonality to communicate around rather than a difference to fight over. It is much more productive and effective. If the goal is to save babies than we must find ways to communicate rather than fight.

I am both pro-choice and pro-life. I believe the choice extends to the moment life begins which is conception. Although it might not be conscious just like the choice all our hearts and lungs make to live by beating and breathing every second, the seed and egg made a choice to come together to make life and that life is choosing to live otherwise it would not.

Questions I Asked Myself Why is it that I immediately felt stress/anger when I saw his shirt and asked the initial question?

How can I alleviate this stress to have a fruitful conversation? Breathing seemed to work quite well.

How can I navigate controversial conversations without increasing cortisol levels of me or the other?

What would a conversation look like if I only asked questions? Not just for me, but for them.

How can I unite through a common ground rather than fight over the difference?

When we departed from the conversation, I could tell he was pondering. He was reflecting. And that reflection might carry on throughout the day, the night, the week.

Maybe next time he sees that shirt he will be reminded of those questions and begin to think again.

On the other hand, if I came into that conversation guns blazing ready to fight, it’s more likely he would leave that conversation angry and even more passionate about his viewpoints. And I would leave angry more passionate about mine. He would have no new insights and neither would I.

So next time you get into a controversial conversation, how can you handle it with questions and kindness? You’ll be surprised by the impact it makes.

With Truth & Love,

Shaughnessy

P.S.

What do you think about the perspective of choice extending to the child as well?